Some of Life's Lessons are Self Taught- AND Hilarious

I walk my older three kids to the end of the street and wait with them until the bus arrives.  It is a back yard and a house away.

During warmer weather my four year old comes with us... in all sorts of creative and crazy attires.  (My personal favorite was when she sat on the curb with a pair of undies on her head- and screamed that's my sister as her 9 year old sister got on the bus....CLASSIC) However, since it has gotten colder, we have fallen into the habit of her curling up on the couch for her "one cartoon" while I walk them.  It works well, we turn it on just as I walk out of the door, and then Mommy has time to finish getting ready before we turn it off again.

This morning I happened to catch her peeking sneakily out the door- I assume to see if I was coming yet.  Her error was in only checking the driveway and not the road.  I had a clear view of her the entire time.

Keep in mind she is wearing only a short-ish thigh length shirt and undies the entire time....

After peeking out the door, she scooted the ottoman in front of the couch, stood on it and struck a pose- if only my phone camera had a better zoom.

She then proceeded to dramatically strike poses and dance- I assume the Fresh Beat Band was grooving.

She then gracefully leapt onto the couch- after again quickly peeking over her shoulder, ensuring I was nowhere near.  (TOTALLY not allowed, by the way)

Followed by a not so graceful leap back to the ottoman- almost.  CRASH!

I then observed her look over her shoulder at her bottom, rub it and twist her face up in consternation.

Again looking quizzically towards the door- I can hear the gears turning... "Do I tell Mom, and risk a scolding? Do I get over it and save my hide?"

Rubbing her bottom she picks up the blanket, curls up on the couch and angelically poses, as if she has been there for hours.

As I walk in the door...Me "What you up to, Alaina?" Alaina "Just being a wittle bit wazey and waying on da couch this mornin'"

Love it... some of life's lessons are self taught :)

As I Sit on the Couch and "Study"....

So this past September, with a lot of support from my family I decided to go back to school.  I only hold an ASN (yes, you can be a registered nurse with a two year degree), and I always promised myself that I would get my Master's Degree someday.  With all of the changes happening in healthcare, I thought it was a good idea to get started.

Why didn't I think it could wait another year?.... you know until ALL of the kids would be in school full time...I'm no longer sure of the answer to that.

What I can tell you is that going back to school was probably NEVER going to be a great idea (timing wise).  What WAS a great idea was choosing WGU which is a pass/fail system.  All I have to do is get through it.  I don't have to stress my GPA too much; get through it and come out the other side with a solid B.  Once upon a time I would not have been okay with that.  Now I don't care... I just want my degree so I can lead my children by example.

But what I HAVE found quite interesting (when it isn't annoying the daylights out of me) is what I hear happening around the house when I am studying and "not paying attention" (or so they think).....

I hear Emma pretending to be her teacher Mrs. Brewsaugh.  She sets all of her dolls and stuffed animal on her bed and points to pictures in books, writes on papers, and "listens" to them read what they have been writing.

I hear Alaina walking around the house singing, in such a beautiful little voice.  And sometimes I can even catch her dancing.

I hear Tristen in his room with all of his minions and other toys (mostly from McDonald's Happy Meals, because they tend to be his favored playthings) staging epic battles against his little green army men.

And I hear my Kylie, my beautiful, grown up little helper, alternating between yelling at the little kids to "get back in their own bed" and telling them to just snuggle with her in bed because "Mommy is trying to get homework done since we are supposed to be in bed".

I also hear the kids helping one another getting snacks out and juice poured (that they totally aren't really supposed to be getting) .

And right now, as I type this, Emma and Alaina have discovered that playing in the empty garage is warmer than outside and almost as much fun... although I am just waiting for that soccer ball to find the one window out there.

There are also a lot more irritating things I hear... like toilets overflowing because they have stuffed an entire roll of toilet paper down... but that isn't what I have been focusing on today as I reflect. I am sure that will make for a HILARIOUS posting another day.

What I have been realizing is this: as parents, sometimes we micromanage our kids schedules so much that they often don't have time for just plain old imagination playing.  And sometimes I think we really pay TOO CLOSE of attention to everything they do.. making them feel a little self conscious and even restricting their actions to better serve ourselves, instead of our children.  When I am "absorbed" in my school work, I notice they find new and unusual things to do.  They also tend to work together a lot more.  And I have been amazed at some of the things my younger kiddos can do...   Emma one day served peanut butter sandwiches as a snack-- all by herself. Did I know what she was doing? Well- not at first. But I DID notice she was WAY too quiet and found her about a third of the way through her project.  I noticed how hard she was working, and paused long enough to realize that cleaning up the mess would only take me 5 minutes.  She felt such a sense of accomplishment when she "served our dinner".  And Miss Alaina has taken to getting the dogs water all by herself.  Normally I would stop her- insisting I fill the pitcher (only a third full to avoid spills).  As I have observed her quietly going about her business, she did fill it too full and spilled a little bit.  But she also got a towel and wiped up the mess (a little).  Kylie tends to shine in the mornings more-  she will automatically put toothpaste on all four toothbrushes as she brushes her teeth, she helps pass out gloves and hats on the way to the bus, and she pours cereal and opens breakfast bar wrappers automatically.  And Mr. Tristen--- well, he just wants to play and be left to his own devices :)

So perhaps Mommy going back to school hasn't been all bad.  I have remembered what it means to take a step back and just let them be a little.  It has been a joy to watch them spread their wings a little more while I am "too busy" to clip their wings.

I have a feeling what I will learn my first semester at WGU will have very little to do with nursing and a whole lot to do with my family....

And I am more than okay with that. :-)

Christmas Cookies Galore!!

I really enjoy cooking, baking-- and occasionally even cleaning.

I highly doubt you will ever convince any of my children of any of those things... Life has seriously been a wild ride on a collision course- where baking is done by Wal-Mart, where while I DO cook when I can- there are days when salami sandwiches, a piece of fruit, and some cherry tomatoes or sliced cucumbers  is as fancy as dinner gets, and where cleaning has become as futile as brushing my teeth while eating Oreos- I do it, but you can't ever tell.

Every year during the holidays, the kids (and their Mama) get excited to do some baking.  And the kids want to HELP.

And even "DO IT MYSELF!" Heaven forbid--- eek!

Kylie is 9, almost 10.

She wanted to make chocolate chip cookies.

I was feeling obsolete at her independence, amazed at how grown up she has gotten...

Until I looked over at her while I washed her dishes and saw this....

My faith in humanity was restored, and my little girl was back ;)

Alaina is four- and FIERCELY independent.  Finding a good project fer her was more of a challenge. 

I came up with White Chocolate-Peppermint Puppy Chow.  

SUPER EASY! With just four ingredients and no 'cooking' she loved it!!

First she unwrapped a box of candy canes, placed them in a Ziplock baggie and crushed them (by far her favorite part!)

Then we measured 5 cups of Rice Chex into a large bowl.  Meanwhile, I melted 10 ounces of white chocolate in the microwave.

Pour the chocolate over the Chex and mix gently. Adding the peppermint pieces towards the end. 

Put 1 cup of powdered sugar into a large ziplock baggie.  Add chocolate covered Chex, seal and shake to coat.  

I think it is much better chilled.

We also made Pretzel Turtles.

 (Line a cookie pan with parchment paper. Place small pretzels on it, top with a soft caramel.  Pop into oven at 300 for about 5 to 10 minutes, remove when just soft, but not melting. Gently press a pecan into the caramel- so that the caramel goes down into the pretzel. Cool completely.  Then melt some milk chocolate, pour half a tablespoon or so onto a fresh piece of parchment paper and place prepared pretzels on top. Cool completely.) DIVINE! Thank you Pioneer Woman! 

And they liked making buttons, too...

Pretzels on parchment paper, top with a Hershey's kiss. Pop into 200 degree oven for 10 minutes. Remove and push Red or Green M and Ms down into the chocolate. Cool.

It was a fun project-- and Tristen even enjoyed unwrapping- and tasting all the candies.

I think I will call this project a win.

I think I will ignore bedtime tonight, too.

With all of this extra sugar, it's not going to be worth beating my head off the wall.....

Happy Holidays!  Hope your family is having as much fun with it as we are :)

P.S. Papa John's cooked tonight. I have a limit, and it was met for the day :)

When Kids Whine....

I really hate it when my kids whine.

It makes my toes curl.

It makes my hair go straight.

It makes me want to crawl into my bed, burrow under the pillows and blankets and hide.

A few minutes ago Alaina asked me read her a book.  I said "sure."

Then she brought me this Dora Goes to Grandma's House book--- I HATE to read Dora books.  They make me insane.  Well, more insane than I already am. I REALLY dislike Dora books.....

So I said "Pick a different book."

     "Whyyyyyy?"

"Because I realllllly don't like that book"
     
     "Phu-luh-eeeeaaassseeee"

"Nooo-ooo-ooooo"
   
     "It just HAS to be this one, Mommy"

"phu-luh-eeeeaaaasssseeee"

     "phu-luh-eeeeaaaasssseeee"

The last two lines said in tandem....


Hummmm... wonder where my kids learned how to whine so well.

I'm going to go buy my parents another Christmas gift, I think they earned it :)

Walmart (with Kids in Tow) is NOT for the Faint of Heart

The other day I was tired and grumpy.  Really tired and REALLY GRUMPY.  I knew that I needed to go to the grocery (which in my town basically equals going to the super Wal-Mart), I knew I wasn't going to get it done before picking up the kids from school, and I also knew that I was seriously not in the right frame of mind to be tackling that chore on that particular evening.

So- knowing my limitations, I decided to "make do" for dinner that evening.  Grilled cheese and tomato soup- no bread.  A filling potato soup using left over mashed potatoes from Thanksgiving- no milk.  Garden supper casserole using leftovers- need the above mentioned milk and bread.... and on and on it went as I scoured the deep freeze and kitchen cabinets.  Finally I had had enough of stretching my poor mind and told the kids to get shoes and coats on. WE WERE GOING TO WAL-MART.

The following is a copy of the email I sent to my mother late that evening, after the kids were fed, bathed and in bed- and after my sense of humor had been semi-restored....

I have a headache- (content removed d/t privacy)

I was out of milk. Cereal. Bread. and Salami.... no salami here is a true tragedy in case you were unaware.

Kylie was having an emotional meltdown because her makeup homework (she stayed home with a throat infection)  said to write incorrect spelling works 3xs each and there was no pretest sent home.

Emma was having a tantrum because-- well it was 330, and she was Emma.

Alaina was well.... Alaina, 'nuf said.

I needed food to cook for dinner.

I WAS NOT IN THE RIGHT MINDSET TO GO TO WALMART WITH KIDS.

So I attempt to fix dinner without above said items.

Not happening.  Into the van, wailing kids in tow, to Wal-Mart we shall go.

Tristen who is a little boy (and little boys often have trouble keeping their arms inside of a three foot radius of the core of their body) somehow manages to knock over a tooth brush display. I pick it up... pretending I don't want to kill someone- mostly the old man who was in our way, forcing us to go that close to the display.

Emma rams into my ankle with the cart.

Alaina jumps off the front of cart directly into path of a grumpy woman on a motorized scooter (because obviously walking would take more effort than she was willing to expend, since I later observed her part her scooter and walk, capably to her vehicle) 

Alaina and Tristen WAIL becasue Kylie and Emma were assigned the duty of each getting a gallon of milk.  

Emma rams into my ankle with the cart.

Emma chases Tristen around cart, I reach out to grab her and instead inadvertently knock her down, her elbow smashes off the floor and she is now wailing.

WalMart is busy as all get out by the way.....

Emma rams into my ankle with the cart.

Go to check out and get into a line behind a little old lady who is price checking EVERY SINGLE ITEM.

Move to new line (behind Marilyn Horan) behind a woman with 5 million coupons.

Give up on that line and go to self check.

Kids are super *HELPFUL* with unloading groceries- not hearing me tell them repeatedly to leave all fruit, veggies and bread in the basket until all the heavier stuff is done.

Kylie, listening, gets out a gallon of milk... the conveyor area is full of the da&^ fruit I had asked them NOT to put there yet and Kylie looses her grip on the milk.

******SPLAT******

We are now all standing in a gallon of milk.  3 walmart employees stare at my now screaming 4 kids and I (while I frantically try to finish checking myself out with $145 worth of groceries) for a solid 5 minutes... as they stand next to a "spill station" and continue to do nothing.

After 5 minutes or so Kylie says "mommy, should I go get the stuff from the spill station?" To which I reply "No, Obviously it is too far for the people who work here to walk the 12 inches to the spill station, and then another 24 inches to the spill, why should we walk that far"  I think the workers MAY have heard me because one of them said "well shit" and grabbed a roll of paper towels (not gonna touch a gallon of milk spread across the floor by the way)  

Then as I leave I tell the girl shooting me the dirties of looks for the longest amount of time (while doing NOTHING about it) "If you had made any effort to help me, I would have made the kids clean up that mess, and I would have helped them. But if you are too lazy to even make an effort to CALL someone to clean it up then I refuse to care either" and walked out the door.

By the time I was done with HER, the kids are all staring at me with their jaws on the floor. And for ONE BLESSED MINUTE they were silent. They walked out to the van with their little angelic hands each on a corner of the cart, and got into the van without a peep.

What I am MOST proud of was the fact that I did not cry.

I DID get a glass of wine and eat ice cream straight out of the carton while I cooked dinner though.

Now, aren't you glad that you weren't here this evening????

Love you,

Anne